I can’t believe it… we’ve been over for so long, yet we’ve kept in touch & simply going on facebook to see that he’s in a relationship breaks me down once again :/ I feel like I’m 14 all over again! afraid of the feeling & wondering when it will be over … I hadn’t cried for so long & now here I am balling my eyes out …so confused yet I knew all along , he didn’t want us bad enough for us to stay together;yet I still believed it! I can’t wait to leave! I’m still a kid (clearly) I still believe things can work out my way ! Stupid girl! Stupid girl! Have to build myself up all again! Sara Evans- “A Little Bit Stronger” will help me through this onee <3
—> First Love is the toughest </3
So maybe I’m crazy for going after someone who is completely not my “typical guy” but what is also something to consider is that I’ve never been able to make things work with those who were “my type” of guy. So maybe he’s my type of guy I just never realized it before? Hmmm…. so many questions so little answers.
Something we’ve both get is the fact that this isn’t as easy as we’d like it to be. In this short amount of time we’ve already had to deal with many minor setbacks but we’ve kept working against them. We have come to realize that time is clicking & time will be working against us for a while. I’m leaving. He respects me for sticking by my plan. He has to stay. I respect him for knowing what he has to do. We’ve talked all this through we get that its tough ; we’re starting something knowing that there has to be a “see you later” in a few months. I’m surprised at the fact that he gets the pain this could possibly cause but he’s willing to stand by my side. We know it’s going to be hard…
Yet something isn’t letting me push him away. I’m attracted to him; both in a physical and emotional way. He’s able to make me smile; he’s willing to hear me out; he’s taking things at my pace…Don’t get me wrong, I know he isn’t perfect; neither am I ; we both have tons of issues but I’m willing to try & work things out.
He gets me. He understands me and he listens to me. He isn’t afraid to tell me how much he likes me and how much he doesn’t want to let me go. He expresses himself about me like noone has ever done before. I’ve smiled more in these last few months since we’ve met than I have in a long long time.
I have to say; I like this guy <3
Its hard to believe but there are still nice people in this world! Thank you stranger! You don’t even know me & were willing to invest in my future; thank you!!!!
is my last day of freedom! :O
Tuesday- school starts again, 9 weeks left until check out day !
-lifestyle change begins !
-stressors of life begin once more !
I’m ready for bed ! :D
I’m content with myself. There is, of course, always room for improvement. I’m going to work on my outer appearance along with my faith! I thank God for all that he has done for me ! I thank him for all the people he has put in my path and guided out of my life! (:
Blessed; No Doubt <—-